WEEK 38

I am 38 weeks pregnant (2 weeks to go)!! BabyBunny weighs around 3000 grams, and measures over 49.5 cm (head to heel), like a leek.

BabyBunny's organs have matured and are ready for life outside the womb. /BabyCenter/

Two more weeks left! I can't believe it! Where did the time fly?? Where did the past 38 weeks go? I still clearly remember reaching the milestones at 12th, 13+6, 20th, 24th, 28th, 32nd, and 36th weeks. Tow more weeks and finally I will hold my precious cargo in my ever loving arms. Can't wait!!

I am wondering when Bunny will make the appearance. She is 38 weeks by me (LMP) but 39 weeks according to the hospital (dating scan). Curious, which time is Bunny following...

The lower arching of my bump (just above my bikini-line) is more prominent, Bunny makes her way down, every day a little deeper. Sometimes just with tiny pushings, sometimes with strong, sharp pain.

She worries me more than amuses with her daily hiccups. I am still trying to find the comfortable position to easy her inconvenience. The 6-8 minutes are back to 20. Lying down doesn't help, getting on all fours not makes them shorter.

I can still fit a decent amount of food into my belly. Looks like the last few weeks with a bird's diet is not for me. I can enjoy whatever I like. What I really like is raw, juicy fruits and vegetables, like strawberries, cucumber, radish, pepper, tomato, green salad leaves, apples, oranges, grapefruit, kiwi, raspberries, blueberries, mango, papaya, you name it.

Household cleaning is on hold, from my part anyway. The chores are mostly on DH. He cooks and does the dishes, hoovers, shops for grocery, cleans the bathroom. I do the laundry. Setting the washing machine is not a problem but ironing is a different story...

With a daily probiotic supplementation and natural probiotic yogurt 'treatment' the itching (and whitened out vulva) is gone. I used the canesten cream just only twice (purely out of fear). I did not want to mess with it while Bunny is inside. They did not ring me back from the hospital with the swab so I take it that nothing grew under the microscope. I suspect it was the panty-liner. The skin got irritated. I am not using it 24/7 anymore just when I go out but at home no more panty-liners for me, rather changing damp panties often as I did previously early in pregnancy.

Survive the day

Over the weekend nothing has changed. On Sunday we went to the pharmacy to ask if there is a safe medication for nausea in pregnancy. There is non, said the pharmacist. Desperate! Seven more weeks of this, at best, if not longer. How am I going to survive this dreadful condition? I know I am not the first one, not the only one but this doesn't give me comfort. Why should it?

Ginger, said the pharmacist. It just doesn't work for me. I tried it fresh, crystallized, pickled, no luck. Ginger biscuit don't work either. So I got the 'Comfort Bands' from TravelBlue. Even if it eases my all-day-nausea by half that would be great.

We posted the new registration form to the hospital. It doesn't make sense but they asked for it. I had to sign three papers, one of these were the religion and ethnicity statement. 2011!! I fear that I can be underprivileged as this country is catholic and I am not. My religion should be my private thing. And asking about ethnicity I just think it is so distinctive! By not sending back this form they won't accept my registration. How nice!

I enclosed a letter requesting for an early scan. I am hoping for a scan around 8 weeks.

Only a veggie Subway sandwich was the only nice thing about Saturday. I know, I know that I should be eating healthy with a varied diet but I just happy that I still can eat and keep it down. Small burps and winds kept me happy for the day.

Sunday I couldn't leave the apartment. Nausea seems to worsen. I could manage a grapefruit for breakfast. I stayed in PJs all day lying in bed and endure. Poor DH, he has to run the house around me. I no longer make dinner for him. He has to eat what he finds in the fridge. But he's not a lost man I have to say.

I had a few hours release of my dreaded nausea. Band? Plenty of water? An apple was nice, and an orange, and some tangerines too.

Today is 5+4. Diarrhoea every morning for the past seven days. Weak tummy. Almost trembling. My breath is terrible, almost throw up brushing my teeth this morning.

Housekeeping? I cannot stand the kitchen since last TUE. No cooking, no washing up, no washing, no ironing, no cleaning. Everything is a mess. Now, when the hygiene is crucial and the good nutrition and balanced diet is vital I follow neither. I am just happy to survive each day. But I feel guilty about it, very guilty! Still around 7 more weeks to go of this misery. How am I going to cope? The peek of the hCG hormone (what causes the nausea) is just yet to come at 8-11 weeks. Help me!

Before the nausea started I constipated even with the usual portion of porridge for breakfast. Now I cannot stand the porridge. My nostrils feels like grow narrow over the past few days. My lips are chapped just like the last time. I feel my upper tummy is on fire, burning inside like a nice, slow fireplace. I look sick in the mirror with a yellowish-greenish face. My breasts are still tender and hurtful on the sides but it started to ease a little, in addition my nipples begin to feel super-sensible. My sleep improved though. Before finding out the BFP I woke up around 4am every morning, and the sleepiness was gone, I felt restive and nervous inside my chest for no reason. Now I sleep the nigh through except one little trip to the loo.

With all these bad symptoms I know that I should be happy. The miracle has happened. No hCG hormone – no pregnancy possible. This keeping me sane.

Time flies

Happened exactly three weeks ago that I had the bleeding, out of the blue. The bright, abundant blood came as a shock. I was shaking when I called the hospital. Until then there was no indication that anything is wrong with my pregnancy. One ER scan and two EPAU scans confirmed that there is no life inside, not a sign of it.

Choosing the natural way with this missed miscarriage (anembryonic pregnancy), with brown spotting on and off the waiting is just tiring. It gives me time to think, a lot. Probably I shouldn't brood too much over this, it cannot be undone. It hurts of course and hard to let it go but no use crying over spilt milk, right? Am I giving up too easily? Three weeks makes you acceptive and acquiescent. I am 13+3 today.

Today I finally managed to clean and organise the living room. The place is now in order, looks like a proper one, like it should be. Nice and tidy. Poor DH tolerated the chaos without a word. I felt ashamed of myself but I just could not bring myself to keep it in order. Won't happen again! Should not happen again!

13 weeks exactly

I'm still waiting, waiting... waiting to miscarry naturally. Brown spotting only, no cramps, no bleeding yet. One day is easier than other. One day I feel acquiescence, another day the helplessness upsets me. It happened for a reason, that's for sure, but it would be nice to know THAT reason just for the peace of mind. Just to know that the baby did not develop beyond implantation, because I cannot get rid of the thought that the flu vaccine made this happen. I wish I would have stayed stronger against the GP's pushing will!

Today I finally took over the kitchen. As my appetite is slowly coming back I cooked at last. In the past quite a few weeks (well, it was 6) I been nauseous all day every day and just couldn't make myself useful around the house. Place was (and still is) like a bomb hit in. The laundry and the dry linen is the main problem, a big mess, all over the place. Only the bedroom looks somewhat civilized. Pull yourself together L.T!

My DH has been so good doing all the cooking and washing up so we did not starve, thanks to him alone. I couldn't think of food in general but at the moment of eating the nausea went away and only came back after I sent down the last bite. Today the kitchen was managed, tomorrow the living room is next.

8 weeks

Weeks really crawl. Can't wait to get my scan for the peace of mind, for reassurance, so it will seem real. Seeing is believing ;-)

The internet can put ideas into our head and make us stress unnecessarily. Is the baby's growing in the right place? No strong pregnancy symptoms? Incompetent cervix? Twins (double trouble but twice the fun)? I haven't had cramps or bleeding, which is good. I did not really want to plot my weight on a chart or monitor everything I ate each day. Worrying is no good for us both. Every pregnancy is different!

Feeling queasy, nauseous. Can't look at food, can't think of food. No appetite at all. It strikes at all hours of the day, from the moment I open my eyes till I finally fall asleep. It seems go away when I eat but after the last bit jumps back on me. I am sleepy. I have metallic taste in my mouth and excess saliva from time to time. Once the baby is healthy that's the main thing. No food cravings though. Maybe the vitamins do the trick.

Battling with a mountain of laundry. The place looks like a bomb went off!! I wish I had a magic wand to wave around.

I am 8 weeks today! 8 completed weeks!!

Bad housekeeping

All the acknowledgement to those mothers-to-be-again who are struggling with the first trimester's charms and work full-time, rearing a child (or two, or three), keeping the house clean and husband happy with a nice evening meal! Towering mountains of unwashed dishes, unironed clothes and bed linen, I'm a disaster.