Friday, April 8, 2011

Time flies

Happened exactly three weeks ago that I had the bleeding, out of the blue. The bright, abundant blood came as a shock. I was shaking when I called the hospital. Until then there was no indication that anything is wrong with my pregnancy. One ER scan and two EPAU scans confirmed that there is no life inside, not a sign of it.

Choosing the natural way with this missed miscarriage (anembryonic pregnancy), with brown spotting on and off the waiting is just tiring. It gives me time to think, a lot. Probably I shouldn't brood too much over this, it cannot be undone. It hurts of course and hard to let it go but no use crying over spilt milk, right? Am I giving up too easily? Three weeks makes you acceptive and acquiescent. I am 13+3 today.

Today I finally managed to clean and organise the living room. The place is now in order, looks like a proper one, like it should be. Nice and tidy. Poor DH tolerated the chaos without a word. I felt ashamed of myself but I just could not bring myself to keep it in order. Won't happen again! Should not happen again!

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